baphijmm: (antisocial)
( Jan. 10th, 2011 07:45 pm)
Am I really that worthless? Am I truly so without value and hope as a human being that, even in stating that I will live as an invisible dog, no one can be arsed to help with so much as a patch of ground, that I might possibly fix this otherwise impossible hole my life has sunken into? Because that's seriously how I'm feeling about all this right now.

I've tried to get myself out of this horrible downward spiral for years, and every time something always fucks up my plans. I am so fucking sick of it. Why can nothing just work out? I've pulled fucking miracles out of my ass at this point to try and make this happen, and yet there is still no redemption.

I'm being told to be strong by friends, but I cannot for very much longer. If this plan falls through, I think that will be it.

A new plan is being formulated thanks to, of all people, my dad. I will keep everyone posted; it's definitely not a permanent plan however, and even with it I would still require some housing assistance should one of these things pan out as I suspect they will, but this will at least buy me some time if it works.

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